Master/slave relationships are some of the most fantasized about, but least understood, relationships in the leather/BDSM world. Nevertheless, more and more people are attempting to live in such relationships, often with little support or education from the leather/BDSM community. Because of the unique structure of Master/slave relationships, those in such relationships often find themselves "living on the edge" of the greater community. This panel will discuss why leather/BDSM community leaders would benefit from making a particular effort to learn about and include M/s relationships in the greater community. The particular attributes of M/s relationships that may push the participants to the edges of the community will be discussed, along with the reasons why persons would choose to live in such relationships in the first place. The applicability of the community standard of "safe, sane & consensual" to M/s relationships and the "culture shock" that may occur when M/s relationships meet the larger leather/BDSM community will be addressed. Finally, the panel will discuss the proposed guidelines for differentiating between SM and abuse, why many of the guidelines label M/s relationships as inherently abusive, and will offer for discussion an alternative paradigm for the SM v. abuse analysis.

1. Community Diversity: Why should we care about inclusiveness?

   
   
   

   • The importance of diversity
   • Examining how you as a community leader view D/s and M/s relationships
   • Why community leaders should care about including D/s and M/s relationships

   
   
   

2. Culture Shock: When worlds collide - what makes M/s relationships different?

   
   
   

   • What do we mean by M/s relationships
   • The role of SM in these relationships
   • The role of protocol
   • The role of service
   • The role of sexuality

   
   
   

3. Life on the Edge: Beyond "safe, sane and consensual"

   
   
   

   • The usefulness of the credo "safe, sane and consensual"
   • Why "SSC" does not describe all healthy BDSM relationships
   • Defining "consensual nonconsensuality"
   • The role of safewords

   
   
   

4. Abuse in M/s and D/s relationships: Where do you draw the line?

   
   
   

   • What is "abuse"
   • Proposed tests for distinguishing SM from and their problems
   • Suggested paradigm for evaluating abuse in all BDSM relationships

 

 

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